“It’s OK, Keira. Gyan is just sitting on mommy’s lap. You can sit here, too.”
“NO! NO! NO! MINE MOMMY!!!”
“Sharing is fun, Sweetie Papaya.” (Sigh).
Happy Mother’s Day!!! Here’s to all the mommies, the moms, and the mothers all around the universe! Here’s to all the mommies who have a toddler or two or three, eight or…well, 14. Here’s to all the mommies who keep encouraging the words “Sharing is fun” at every playdate. Here’s to all the mommies who feel like throwing a tantrum while their two-year-olds are throwing tantrums in public. Here’s to all the mommies whose amazing five-year-olds are going on 16, simply overnight. Here’s to all the mommies who celebrate their very first Mother’s Day! Welcome to the club! Here’s to all the mommies who get work things done at coffee shops ten thousand times faster because their babies are napping. Here’s to all the girly mommies who love to dress up their live dolls to the pinky-fullest! Here’s to all the mommies who have survived the toughest first week in their lives of going back to work from their maternity leave. Here’s to all the mommies who have mastered the trick of checking AND answering emails on their phones in a blink of an eye and in full swing while their babies are on a swing. Here’s to all the mommies who once left their car doors open wide in a Target parking lot because they got too focused unloading their babies. Here’s to all the mommies who have embraced mommyhood with all your hearts, grace, wisdom, dignity and…strong arm muscles. Here’s to all the mommies who sometimes don’t remember or can’t remember where they left off their last sentence in an adult conversation because the baby just dropped his dirty diaper on the floor. Here’s to all the mommies whose little girls just suddenly demand a great need of your help because “Rapunzel needs her hair to be braided”. Immediately. Here’s to all the mommies who make Starwars pancakes for their little “Lukes”. Here’s to the mommies who put the detergent in the fridge by mistake. Here’s to the mommies who accidently have run the pacifier in the washer. Here’s to all the mommies who cannot remember for the millionth time where exactly the car keys are buried in their bulky purses. Here’s to all the mommies who love to stuff more stuff to teir bulky purses. Here’s to all the mommies who love to keep buying big diaper bags because they can carry more fun things for themselves and most importantly, the diapers and snacks for the babies. And their iPhones, Blackberries, the cameras and the Flips. Here’s to all the mommies who get extra tired (and extra strong) waiting in line at Disneyland because their toddlers want to be picked up during the whole 20-minute wait. Here’s to all the mommies who manage to stay sane and look decent in any time of the day (in heels or not). Here’s to those who always carry their sharp brains at board and client meetings regardless of a tough morning or night. Here’s to all the hard-working mommies in offices and home offices! Here’s to all the mommies who stay home and don’t stay still! Here’s to all the coffee-lover mommies! Here’s to the tea-lover mommies! Here’s to the beer-lover mommies! Here’s to the wine-lover mommies! Here’s to the coffee-tea-wine-beer-lover mommies! Here’s to all the mommies who still love to go out to balance their lifestyle (and balance their walk in those skyscraper party heels). With or without their babies.
Here’s to all the mommies who need to express themselves to the fullest, through words and images like…BLOGGING! Here’s to all the creative “momtrepreneurs”! Thank you, Mama Lolo for having me with you here! For giving me such a fun way to keep a great balance of being a mother and a person through Martini & Milk! Here’s to the Martini & Milk mommies! Here’s to saying “Enough juice boxes, I want a martini!”
Here’s to my darling Mama and Mom-in-law. Thank you for loving me so dearly and spoiling me rotten. Thank you for loving me the way I am. Thank you for loving my little family the way you always do. Thank you for all your endless love and dedication as a mother. Thank you for raising me so perfectly. Thank you for saying that you are never too tired to love and for inheriting me the love for pink and girliness, Mama. Thank you for loving me (and my fashion sense) the way I am and always wanting to hear about what and how I am doing, Mom. Because of you I can always express myself to the bubbly-fullest. I would not be here without you.
And here’s to Mama Irma for laughing with me tonight on our way home at midnight (with our babies – who just had gelato at 10pm) because…oops. We HAD FORGOTTEN that Mother’s Day was this weekend!!! We remembered the date last month when we were all looking at our calendars for May. But with all the excitement of back-to-back events earlier leading up to this Sunday, we simply…had been hit by a “mommy brain” moment. Oops. Things we do as mothers. We forget. Even when it comes to celebrating our special role as a mommy! One thing for sure: we forget things because we think of ourselves last. You come first. We take care of you first. We feed you first. We multitask and we master it (or least, we think we do). We love. We look at life from a different angle: “you were once a baby! kind of angle. You’re a product of the “miracle of life”, we want to nurture you because you are special. We love you no matter what, we pick you up, we tell you “everything is going to be just fine”. Endlessly till we are out of this world. We are forever grateful that we are mothers and that we got all those traits from our own mothers. Thank you for appreciating us. You make our day. Today and always.
Have a lovely day on this Mother’s Day, my loves. You know you are loved.
Mille tendresse (directly translated as…a thousand tenderness),
Mrs. McM.
It’s time to celebrate! I would love to have these candle holders on our lunch table! (Delivered straight from Anthropologie)
I could always “stumble upon” some pretty plates on the web! This time these darling babies are from Boat Mangeller.
Last but never least, we mommies love desserts to keep our energy up! Especially when they are…monogrammed! House Beautiful found these yummy little sweethearts on Flourpotcookies.com
And for those who love to shop for all things fashion and have a toddler! I suggest you read this book! My other bible. The latest book by Sophie Kinsella‘s Shopaholic series is so light and full of humor (just what mommies need!) that you can have it as your funny entertainment in the middle of the night, while sitting in traffic (JUST KIDDING!) or whenever the busy babe naps! (I swear this actually could be my own true story!)
This March I turn 35. Big year? Heck yeah… this has been, though just started, an amazing year!
For my birthday last year I did a personal project I called ‘Self Profess. Profound‘. It really was profound. Anything that involves standing half naked in front of people you just met is certainly intense. Yes, the pictures came out absolutely beautiful, thank you very much for asking! This year, I’m crazy busy with work projects. However, a girl needs to spend time on herself. You can’t understand the world if you don’t understand yourself. So, this year I decided to dig deep and look into… my name!
There is a story behind your name. Behind mine, is a family history, a culture. When I was born Mom expected a son, so she didn’t have a name for (another) baby girl (woops sorry mommy!). She asked my Dad to name me and he said “Nurul”. Unfortunately, my toddler tongue found it too hard to pronounce the name and I kept on calling myself ‘Lolo’. Very soon, everyone else followed lead and Lolo became my nick name. This is the story of Nurul…
My ancestor, Sultan Hamengkubuwono VI, reigned our beautiful town in central Java, called Jogjakarta, from 1855 to 1877.
Sultan Hamengkubuwono VI
Pretty bad ass looking isn’t he? This is the source of the ideal man my version: an intelligent and fearless leader with a heart of gold. A man people respect. I once argued that to love is one thing, I can love, no problem. But a man who earns my love and respect… he keeps the heart of my heart. My grand mother was his grand daughter. Grand ma herself became one of the best bridal make up artists in Java, her students then carried her legacy and became the country’s best make up artists.
R.A Chamdamliyah Sosronegoro
The custom of those days was princesses and daughters were betrothed to kings or princes or politicians and many of them stayed in polygamy marriages. Obviously not all of them disagreed to polygamy marriage, but some did. One princess became a legendary symbol representing the persistence and romanticism of a woman who fought her way to be heard and acknowledged for her wish to marry for love in a monogamy marriage. Her name was Princess Nurul.
Gusti Nurul
The beautiful Princess Nurul (1921-present) was unique for her days. She kept our traditional values but yet she was also very modern and rebellious. She rode horses, played tennis and swam. Yet she was also the best dancer in the palace. So much so that in 1936 Queen Wilhelmina of the Netherlands requested the young Princess to dance at the wedding of Princess Juliana and Prince Bernard. Of everything that she was known of, she was famously known as the princess who turned down marriage proposals from the country’s most powerful men. A princess who stayed single in her 30s… well, in her days that was unheard of. Romantic? I think more than anything else, she was strong willed. Very.
Gusti Nurul, today (left) and her younger days
You know, in my culture, a name is a prayer. It is the hope of the parents towards the child. Mom who loves me dearly often said that I am her most stubborn child. I do as I wish and I go for my dreams. I made mistakes but I always bounced back up. Every time I am in doubt, I think of Daddy and I stop questioning myself. I know what he wished for when he named me. I looked at photographs of the King, of both my grand mothers, of Gusti Nurul, of our family line. They were, in their days, people who created, people who walked their talked. My ancestors were known as just rulers, intelligent politicians and artists. They lived their life for their communities. They made a difference. They were labeled “different”, “unique”, “stubborn”. I think they were determined, courageous and well, in their own way… loving. To them, as it is for me, it is a matter of living our path as we belief it meant to be.
Los Angeles, March ’11 at a Martini and Milk Production
Daddy once wrote me a letter, in which he said, “My daughter Nurul, between you and me, there is no such thing as time or distance. Not in this life time, not ever.” I remember reading his letter on my way back to Los Angeles from Jakarta and understood him completely. That in my and his every single step, we carry with us our values, our tradition and our belief to be bigger than ourselves on a daily basis. Embrace who you are, understand your tradition, your values, pass them on… Sabdo Pandito Ratu (the King has spoken).
With love,
Nurul Kartikasari Sosronegoro (“Lolo”)
PS: Daddy, RM Suryo S. Negoro, had written books on traditional Javanese spirituality and philosophy. Many of his books can be found in book stores in Jakarta and in the National Library of Australia. If you wish to find him online please check his site Jagad Kejawen. His articles are also available at another Javanese cultural site called Joglo Semar.
I apparently get slightly addicted to creative process. The whole process of creating and being surrounded by a team of creative people. I like the part of the brain it takes me to when I’m on it. World of possibilities. This month, for Martini and Milk, I gathered a creative team and worked on a video project. This is part of our ‘behind the scene’ story..
A girl should not do a video without the best hair and make up stylist to help her. In this case, of course, I relied on the talent of my Vidal Sassoon trained friend, Thy Mai, for hair and make up. I think everyone knows by now that I am a HUGE fan of Thy. Her work, her ethic, her above average perfection. The girl just wants the best of you to shine. Her words are nothing but truth (and as we know truth are not always pretty but they are absolutely necessary) and powerful encouragement. I absolutely think every girl needs a Thy in their team.
Yes, we LOVE her work, can’t you tell…
Paulo Coelho once said and I concurred,”So, I love you because the entire universe conspired to help me find you.” The universe did. To all of you tres chic people who have been strategically placed in my life, thank you. Thank you for your creativity and thank you for being such dah-lings… (and that especially goes to you Mrs McM! Loves).
Do you really think I would do a project without involving my darling Bo Barnes? Of course not! The crazy rain in LA, didn’t prevent my Bo to come support. I felt like the whole Fred Segal family was represented. Thank you love!
There’s more work to do… but for now, it’s a wrap. With lots of love from this dreamer girl… who’s extremely thankful because her friends are more than willing to dream with her. Thank you babes..
xx,
L
ps: all pics courtesy of Ryan Mangindaan of Verten Media. Thx man!
VDay minus one. My phone beeped very early in the morning, slightly too early for Sunday. It was a text message “Are you awake”. I replied “Somewhat…” Five minutes later my phone rang. I looked at the screen and saw ‘Blocked’. I knew exactly who it was. I closed my eyes, continued to rest my head on my pillow and picked up the call.
You see, in my world I have been so blessed to have good friends who are amazingly creative people. A few of them are basically on the border line of being a genius. The most intelligent and intuitive of people, they learned from the school of life. It is a degree that is both a blessing and a curse. One that I would never wish upon anyone, even my worst enemy. It is too hard to bear. These people never really fit in, because they really see life as is. They see hearts, they see ugliness and they see beauty in a way which you and I will never be able to understand. Or perceive. And so they pour everything into their arts. And people like you and I think that we understand them, we could never. Not fully. We get to enjoy their work, get so inspired by it. But you and I live a world so completely different than theirs.
Diane Arbus Photographing Beauty Pageants
This is not a blog to depress you. I promise. It’s an homage paid every single love day to the people that have brought beauty and major inspirations in our lives. It was through their pain, their souls, their tears and frustration that they brought love and compassion to you and me.
Talitha Getty
Eddie Sedgwick once commented on the flower generation: “It’s sort of like a mockery in a way of reality because they think everything is smiles and sweetness and flowers when there is something bitter to taste. And to pretend there isn’t is foolish. I mean the ones that wonder around and know, at the same time, and yet wear flowers, and they deserve to wear flowers. And they’ve earned their smile…you can tell by people’s eyes.”
Eddie Sedgwick
I was on the phone for an hour with my friend. What is it exactly that my wisdom can offer, there was perhaps none. If I learned anything at all from experience, people save themselves. People need people to listen, to hold their hands, to feel safe. And you don’t try to play hero. Or heroine. Though you want to. Because the person is so dear to you and you’re hating the drugs that placed this distance between the two of you. At the end of the call we both agreed on a few things. Love is absolutely wonderful. But, the basic of it all in life… is courage. With it you can love and have a broken heart, with it you decide how you want your life to be, with it you embrace life as is, and with it you move on and let go. With it, a clean slate to start a new.
And so dear friends. Happy Valentine’s day. Have the courage to love yourself and others. Have the courage to let someone else love you. Have the courage to let beauty in, because though there’s ugliness out there, you get to decide what makes your life beautiful.
With lots of love from all of us here at Martini and Milk…
Ten years ago, I went on a Valentine’s day date in a cold winter night in Boston. My date and I instantly connected over one thing in common: New York City. We talked about how I had always dreamed of living there to pursue my fashion career and how he had always wanted to move back to be near his family. That man is now my husband and we are still in love with each other and NYC.
After spending a decade of Cupid’s day with the same person, it is not realistic for me to talk about glorious “romances” or to decorate the home in whimsical pinks (as the Jedi Master simply won’t allow it) but I will talk passionately about my love for New York. It is where we dated, got engaged, married and gave birth to our son. Obviously those are enough reasons for me to love this city, but here’s my list of MORE reasons to love New York.
Because everyday on the street is a fashion show.
Because Bloomingdales and Barneys are just 5 minutes away from my home.
Because of the 8 different languages that are spoken at Zac’s school at AM drop off.
Because of Fresh Direct – an online grocery store (where I can conveniently “cook” variety of gourmet & healthy foods from every continent for each day of the week without leaving my home).
Because of the Roosevelt Island tram and the breath taking view during my commute.
Because walking is a version of driving and it is OK to be over 30 and not owning a driver’s license.
Because I can see the Empire State building from my living room (it will be red for valentines day).
Because I can sail around the city in summer time.
Because Zac and I can go to Central Park, visit the Zoo and the playground, have lunch and still be back on time for a nap.
Because no matter how I dislike and try to avoid Times Sq, the energy seduces you again once you’re there.
Because this is truly where my heart is…
So Paris may be the most romantic city but I think New York is the best place for love, comfort and happiness…
PS. I do however, still expect flowers and chocolates on Monday 2/14/2011
Posted February 13, 2011 | love letters | Comments Off
